Friday, January 2, 2009

Funny Friday

Instructions on Showering:

Warning may be offensive to some that like to get offended over things.

Remeber it's Funny Friday!!! Lighten Up!!!

HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN:

Take off clothing and place it in sectioned
laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
Walk to bathroom wearing long robe.
If you see husband along the way,
cover up any exposed areas.
Look at your womanly physique in the mirror --
make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
Get in the shower. Use wash cloth, long loofah,
wide loofah and pumice stone.
Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo
with 43 added vitamins.
Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
Condition your hair with grapefruit mint condition
Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub
10 minutes until red.
Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut
and jaffa cake body wash.
Rinse conditioner off hair.
Shave armpits and legs.
Rinse off.
Turn off shower.
Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
Spray mold spots with Tilex..
Get out of shower.
Return to bedroom wearing long robe and towel on head.
If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.


HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:

Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed,
and leave them in a pile.
Walk naked to the bathroom.
If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her
making the woo-woo sound.
Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
Get in the shower. Wash your face.
Wash your armpits.
Blow your nose in your hands and let the water.
rinse them off.
Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
Spend majority of time washing privates and surronding areas.
Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs on the bar of soap.
Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
Pee.
Rinse off and get out of shower.
Partially dry off.
Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
Admire wiener size in mirror again.
Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor,
and light and fan on.
Return to bedroom with towel around waist.
If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her,
and make the woo-woo sound again.
Throw wet towel on bed.
If there is anyone who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you.


Have a great day..... and woo woo!!!

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