Saturday, July 9, 2011

Funny Friday

Comments made in the year 1955!

I'll tell you one thing, if things
keep going the way they are,
it's going to be impossible to
buy a week's groceries for $10.00.

Have you seen the new cars
coming out next year? It won't
be long before $1,000.00 will
only buy a used one.

If cigarettes keep going up in
price, I'm going to quit; 20 cents
a pack is ridiculous.

Did you hear the post office is
thinking about charging 7 cents
just to mail a letter.

If they raise the minimum wage
to $1.00, nobody will be able to
hire outside help at the store.

When I first started driving, who
would have thought gas would
someday cost 25 cents a gallon.
Guess we'd be better off leaving
the car in the garage.

I'm afraid to send my kids to the
movies any more. Ever since they
let Clark Gable get by with saying
it seems every new movie has
either HELL or DAMN in it.

I read the other day where some
scientist thinks it's possible to put
a man on the moon by the end of
the century. They even have some
fellows they call astronauts
preparing for it down in Texas .

Did you see where some baseball
player just signed a contract for
$50,000 a year just to play ball?
It wouldn't surprise me if someday
they'll be making more than the

I never thought I'd see the day
all our kitchen appliances would
be electric. They're even making
electric typewriters now.

It's too bad things are so tough
nowadays. I see where a few
married women are having to
work to make ends meet.

It won't be long before young
couples are going to have to hire
someone to watch their kids so
they can both work.

I'm afraid the Volkswagen car
is going to open the door to a
whole lot of foreign business.

Thank goodness I won't live to
see the day when the Government
takes half our income in taxes. I
sometimes wonder if we are
electing the best people to

The fast food restaurant is
convenient for a quick meal,
but I seriously doubt they
will ever catch on.

There is no sense going on short
trips anymore for a weekend. It
costs nearly $2.00 a night to stay
in a hotel.

No one can afford to be sick
anymore. At $15.00 a day in
the hospital, it's too rich for
my blood.

If they think I?ll pay 30 cents
for a haircut, forget it.

I was born in the fifties, this really makes you realize how fast things change. I smile at what my Grandchildren will be laughing about in 50 more years.

Happy 1955 Trails,

Friday, July 8, 2011

Funny Friday


I had a rose named after me and I was very flattered. But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalogue: - 'No good in a bed, but fine against a wall.'
- Eleanor Roosevelt

Last week, I stated this woman was the ugliest woman I had ever seen. I have since been visited by her sister, and now wish to withdraw that statement..
- Mark Twain

The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending; and to have the two as close together as possible..
- George Burns

Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year..
- Victor Borge

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint..
- Mark Twain

By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher..
- Socrates

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury..
- Groucho Marx

My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe..
- Jimmy Durante

I have never hated a man enough to give his diamonds back..
- Zsa Zsa Gabor

Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar and fat..
- Alex Levine

My luck is so bad that if I bought a cemetery, people would stop dying..
- Rodney Dangerfield

Money can't buy you happiness .... But it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery..
- Spike Milligan

Until I was thirteen, I thought my name was SHUT UP..
- Joe Namath

I don't feel old. I don't feel anything until noon. Then it's time for my nap..
- Bob Hope

I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it..
- W. C. Fields

We could certainly slow the aging process down if it had to work its way through Congress..
- Will Rogers

Don't worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older, it will avoid you..
- Winston Churchill

Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty .. But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out..
- Phyllis Diller

By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he's too old to go anywhere..
- Billy Crystal

And the cardiologist's diet: - If it tastes good spit it out..

Happy Weekend Trails,


Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Intersting Facts

Interesting stuff-
Columbia University is the second largest landowner in New York City, after the Catholic Church.
Cat's urine glows under a blacklight.
An iguana can stay under water for 28 minutes.
The first Ford cars had Dodge engines.
Leonard Da Vinci invented scissors.
It takes about a half a gallon of water to cook macaroni, and about a gallon to clean the pot.
In the last 4000 years, no new animals have been domesticated.
Babies are born without knee caps. They don't appear until the child reaches 2-6 years of age.
The highest point in Pennsylvania is lower than the lowest point in Colorado.

Reprinted from "Rick Frishman's Author101 Newsletter"
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"Million Dollar Rolodex"

Monday, July 4, 2011

Happy Birthday America

If you are an American citizen, don’t let anyone tell you that you are downtrodden.

"We still live in the greatest country in the world. The United States is the great experiment in positive thinking; our entire system of government is based upon faith in the inherent goodness of the individual. It was a revolutionary idea more than 200 years ago when the Declaration of Independence was first signed. Borrowing from the greatest thinkers in history, our founding fathers established a form of government of the people that is today the model most imitated around the world. Economic and political conditions ebb and flow, but as long as we have a democratic society that celebrates the individual, we can achieve anything in life we desire. All you require to be successful in the United States is the desire to achieve success and the determination to stick with it until you reach your goals."

This 4th of July Napoleon Hills words ring load and clear. What a wonderful country, full of opportunity to live the life we imagine.

Happy Independent Trails,

PS Great photo is Clinton Miller, Burns road show team member. Real American Cowboy!

Sunday, July 3, 2011

Inspire Me

"Everything that is great and inspiring is created by the individual who labors in the atmosphere of freedom."
Albert Einstein

Happy Fourth of July!!!
Let Freedom Ring!!!

Friday, July 1, 2011

Funny Friday

Men Are Just Happier People --

What do you expect from such simple creatures?
Your last name stays put.
The garage is all yours.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
Chocolate is just another snack.
You can be President.
You can never be pregnant.
You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
You can wear NO shirt to a water park.
Car mechanics tell you the truth.
The world is your urinal.
You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.
You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
Same work, more pay.
Wrinkles add character..
Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100.
People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
One mood all the time.
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
You know stuff about tanks.
A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
You can open all your own jars.
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
If someone forgets to invite you,
He or she can still be your friend.
Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough..
You almost never have strap problems in public.
You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes..
Everything on your face stays its original color..
The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
You only have to shave your face and neck.
You can play with toys all your life.
One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one color for all seasons.
You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look..
You can 'do' your nails with a pocket knife.
You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives
On December 24 in 25 minutes.

Men Are Just Happier People