On the Road Again #3 - Some Texas Wisdom

Texas, still in Texas, the longest show of my yearly schedule is the Paint World in Ft. Worth, three weeks long. So after spending three weeks in Ft. Worth I have picked up some of the southern drawl. I find it so intriguing. Everyone is fixin to do something. And Y’all and yes maam and yes sir and shut yer mouth. And that really blows my skirt up. Here is some more Texan slang I found on line.

• The engine's runnin' but ain't nobody driving - Not overly-intelligent
  
• As welcome as a skunk at a lawn party - (self-explanatory)
  
• Tighter than bark on a tree - Not very generous
  
• Big hat, no cattle - All talk and no action
  
• We've howdied but we ain't shook yet - We've made a brief acquaintance, but not been formally introduced
• He thinks the sun come up just to hear him crow - He has a pretty high opinion of himself
  
• She's got tongue enough for 10 rows of teeth - That woman can talk
  
• It's so dry the trees are bribin' the dogs -We really could use a little rain around here
  
• Just because a chicken has wings doesn't mean it can fly - Appearances can be deceptive.
• This ain't my first rodeo - I've been around awhile
  
• He looks like the dog's been keepin' him under the porch - Not the most handsome of men
• They ate supper before they said grace - Living in sin
  
• Time to paint your butt white and run with the antelope - stop arguing and do as you're told
  
• As full of wind as a corn-eating horse - Rather prone to boasting
  
• You can put your boots in the oven, but that don't make em biscuits -You can say whatever you want about something, but that doesn't change what it is
  
• That's a fur piece. - It'll take you awhile to get there
  
• Don't worry 'bout the mule son, just load the wagon - just do your part and I'll do mine
  
• Don't call him a cowboy, till you've seen him ride - Don't judge a book by its cover
  
• She's been rode hard and put away wet - refers to an unnattractive, hard-looking woman
  
• toad choker - a heavy rain
  
• frog strangler - also a heavy rain
  
• finer than frog hair - use anywhere you might use the word "fine"
  
• rarer than hen's teeth - pretty darn rare
  
• tump - to spill, as in "I jes' tumped over mah beer"
  
• coke -Coca-Cola, Pepsi, Sprite, Mountain Dew, Big Red, etc.

Some Texas Wisdom

1. Never slap a man who's chewin' tobacco.
   
2. Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier'n puttin' it back in.
   
3. If you're ridin' ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it's still there.
   
4. If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around.
   
5. Never kick a cow chip on a hot day.
   
6. There's two theories to arguin' with a woman. Neither one works.
   
7. If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin'.
   
8. Don't squat with your spurs on.
   
9. It don't take a genius to spot a goat in a flock of sheep
   
10. Always drink upstream from the herd.
    
11. Never miss a good chance to shut up.
    
12. There are 3 kinds of people: The ones that learn by reading, the few who learn by observation, and the rest of them who have to touch the fire to see for themselves if it's really hot.
    

Well I’m fixin to leave Texas and meander back to Utah.

See Y’all,

Danna